Posted by: J. Kristén Halley | July 21, 2012

Is he a Player?

I am a happily married man with three wonderful chldren. Next May, we will celebrate our 20th anniversary.

However, before I found real love with one woman, I found a lot of loving with many women. I am proficient in tactics that attract the hottest girls with a very high rate of success. Naturally, I no longer practice these tactics, but, like a bike, I haven’t forgotten my methodology.

So I am no longer a predator, so to speak, there are some men (and even some women) that execute a dynamic and sophisticated approach that moves seamlessly from one phase to the next. He may appear more intoxicated than he really is. He obviously will never cross that line that would lead to into obnoxious or arrogant, self-centered behaviors. The target has already dismissed suspicions that they are being played. They drastically underestimate the player of having the capacity of engineering such tactics.

They will only show enough intellect that is needed to talk on a reasonably intelligent level. In other words, they appear smart enough to converse at the same level of their target, and the general group he/she is infiltrating. They appear smart enough, but nothing remotely close to be any kind of intellectual threat.

Despite the fact that I am a loyal, loving, and very much in love with my spouse, the old adage, “It takes one to know one” still has full application to me on this subject. In fact, I have had seen this technique being used on me. One time that I vividly recall happened on a cruise ship.

Earlier that day, this young woman slapped my ass as I was moving past her in a row of lounge chairs used for sun-bathing. My wife was only a few steps ahead from me, and it would have been obvious to anyone that we were there together. Her group all laughed at her bold action. One of her friends apologized for her indicating she was very intoxicated. My wife was initially disturbed, but let it go after an apology and explanation had been offered.

However, later that night, I was alone in one of the ship’s many lounges. My wife was exhausted and had to call it a day. I stayed there because I had met a fellow passenger that shared many of the same interests as I. I enjoyed the discussion enough that I was not ready for it to end.

The next thing I know, a pretty young girl sits in the seat formerly occupied by my wife. She introduced herself and we shared a brief exchange of pleasantries. I returned to ask the fellow I had been conversing with, and took the last gulp left in my drink. The other man, who was my senior by ten to fifteen years, had also emptied his glass. I raised my hand and the bartender nodded in acknowledgement he would be with me soon.

The girl next to me had been joined by one of her friends by this time. As the bartender approached, she scooted close to me and said, let me buy this round. I was grateful but reluctant. My hesitation to respond opened up the door for her to have already presented her room card, for payment of the drinks, and declared that she insisted. Her friend tells me there is no point in declining her offer at that point.

That is when they revealed themselves from the event earlier that day. ” It is our way to make up for our friend’s innappropriate behavior ealier.” That is when it clicked that these were the friends of the girl who had slapped my ass earlier that day.

They apologized again and told me that she was passed out in their room. Suddenly a third girl takes a position between her two friends seated next to me. She acted oblivious of my presence until one of her friends pointed to me. She acted like she was so surprised and so apologetic. She was evidently the wing girl. She asks me where I was from, what I did for a living, and mixed in among these questions were about my wife.

They wanted to know if she was my wife and why she wasn’t with me now. My friend was making attempts to contribute to the conversation, but it seemed like I was the only one capable of hearing him. By this point, two more of their party had joined us, but they were forced to stand.

By this time, my older acquaintance declares he was going to call it a day, and offers his seat to one of the ladies who had been standing. The first girl spots an open booth, and suggests we that we all relocate. I sat on my stool for a moment. I stood up and stretched my arms out, while yawning. As the words, “I probably should call it in for today myself.” The first girl grabbed me by the arm and physically pulled me along.

I broke away for a moment, and restated that I should be getting back to my state room, when I was interrupted by a girl that referred me back to my earlier statement that I was still wired and wide-awake. She also repeated what I had told her earlier in a moment of levity when I compared her sleep was so deep it was coma-like.

One of the other girls, who I had yet to be introduced, asked me what I was going to do, just alone in my cabin. Another, notes that is still very early. And the fourth member of their group interjects a reminder that we were all there to party and have harmless fun, not sit alone in a cabin watching TV. The sale was closed when one of them refers back to the earlier incident and that they wanted to apologize the right way according to their compliance to southern hospitality. They were a group who referred to themselves as the Georgia Peaches. One of the took my room card and put in between her breasts and said the least I could do is let them pay for my drinks the rest of the night, and it would not be polite to accept this gesture.

I am beginning to realize that this wasn’t all happening at random. After all, how many guys do you know would feel the least bit violated that a young, pretty girl, slapped his ass? If anything it was a nice little ego boost. But they continued to portray it as unforgivable and I had to let them make things right.

I joined them and was cornered inside the booth. Two girls sat across from me, and two sat beside me.

Immediately, they call the waitress over and ordered shots of tequilla and Long Island iced teas for everyone. After the order was placed, they asked me if I liked tequila and Long Island iced teas. I do so, so I was on board.

I knew that one of them was attracted to me, but in the chaos of simultaneous conversations, crowd noise, and a live band, I was having trouble trying to identify which of these girls wanted me. It was obvious that the ring on my finger was not an issue for them.

Then the conversation moved to the next level, relationships. All, but maybe one, was involved or had some kind of love interest back home. Clearly, in their absence and protected by complete anonymoty, that was no issue either. The girl who was not in a relationship was just coming out of a long-term relationship and was heart-broken. She didn’t speak much or laugh as loud as her friends.

I was forming the conclusion that she was the one they were working for. Remarks like she needs to get laid big-time. Rebound sex was the cure she needed. That opened up the arena for the topic of sex. Even I was surprised by how openly and how shamelessly the discussion was getting. On the table in front of me was a number of drinks that I had not yet gotten to. That triggered high intensity peer pressure. Like how can I let a table full of mostly petite females out drink a big, strong man. I downed the rest of the drink I was on, and sipped the next one in line.

As they all revealed their favorite sexual positions and the best orgasms they had and why, the most orgasms they had in the same encounter, they coerced me to share. I didn’t say much. Then the discussion was shifted slightly to oral sex. Amazingly, they all loved to pleasure their men and were very good at it. In the midst of it all, was me. My inhibitions had been impaired, and I could not stop myself from becoming aroused.

That is when I noticed, that when one girl would say something suggestive, one or another of them made physical contact with me. They were growing bolder by the moment. The first girl that had approached me earlier, finally came right out and asked. |”Have you ever had sex with more than one girl at a time? The silence was deafening in the moment it took me to absorb the sub-text and realize where this was all headed.

I nod and openly tell them that I have. The girl at her left challenged my ego by saying do you think you could handle us? Another commented do you like to eat peaches? I smiled and found myself in the unfamiliar position of speechlessness.

“I said I love to eat peaches, bu –” a blast of laughter drowned out the rest of my fragmented, incoherent sentence.

“We know, you’re married, but there is no way she could ever find out.

Men are far more capable of deploying very clever schemes that serve as the means to the same end than women generally credit them with. A smart, beautiful girl, who underestimates guys in general, make a perfect target. They are often victimized over and over. Sure, they may enjoy the pleasure sex brings, but not the bad taste left behind from a guy who knew all along he was out for one thing – “hit it, and quit it.”

I was that guy. I know that guy. I have insight to help you identify that guy.

I am sure that every girl at one time or another have been hurt by that guy. He appears as an angel of light. He has the rock-hard abs and hard body. He has the charm, says all the right things, will look deep into your eyes and speaks exactly the right words. This guy will use the same wit that has served him well and knows how to make you laugh. His timing is precise and has a certain machismo, or rather, a quiet confidence that we all tend to find attractive in the opposite gender..

His package (of schemes) include sincerity, sensetivity, and he knows all of the ways to connect with you on a level you never even realized existed. His focus is on you but not to the point it becomes creepy.

For the sake of setting the stage, you are in a club or bar. He has already successfully ushered you away from the bar to a table. He will always invite your friends along. He knows that to successfully seduce you, he must showcase his charisma to your friends.

This guy will assert his independence. He will periodically leave you alone with your thoughts and depend on a flurry of positive feedback from your friends. He appears oblivious as he chats with his buddies that you and your friends keep glancing in his direction.

He will leave you alone only long enough for you to see him interacting with his buddies. His laugh will dominate the group and he will, by all appearences, seem to be the Alpha among his peers.

When he returns, he will keep his smile alive, but contribute very little to the conversation. He is looking for clues about the private exchange you shared with your friends in his absence. Once, he has amassed enough data that things are proceeding to schedule, you will find him occupying a position that is noticably closer to you. He has advanced all the way to the very edge of entering your personal space. That is when he goes to work on your subconscious.

He will initiate a conversation about relationships, which leads to past relationships, and the heartache he has suffered at the hands of some Jezebel he had fallen for. He knows that everyone in the group can relate to heartache and knows that his tale will elicit strong feelings of empathy/sympathy.

Now, he shows you that he has the right attitude. He will use phrases like, “take it one day at a time.” or that he will never give up on finding love. His eyes will inevitably find yours during or just after he finishes that line.

His goal is to ulitimately bring sex into the conversation. Don’t think he doesn’t know what number drink you and your girlfriends are on. He knows when inhibitions have been drowned enough to introduce that topic. And, he will not just blurt out, “Hey, so do you girls like sex?”

He will ask questions that are unassuming and most likely direct it toward one of your friends.

Depending on how it is received, you suddenly notice, he has inched his way right into your “personal space.” Expect him to touch you on the arm or shoulder often and whenever the topic starts to get hot. He will use words like “passion” and touch you physically on the arm, the knee, simultaneously. The touch is brief and non-threatening, but it connects him with a state of arousal. He knows that this practice over time will eventually lead to generating a strong association. He wants his touch alone to have a power strong enough to re-stimulate you and return you to that aroused state.

Every time he uses words like this and touches you, he is hoping to generate a relationship between arousal and his touch. He knows how to steer the conversation so that it becomes arousing. He elicits thoughts in you of past experiences of great pleasure and then by setting up a connection that links him with those moments.

You suddenly discover that you are starting to lust after him. He knows that moment like he knows the way home. Your facial expressions, body language, and impaired inhibitions has betrayed your confidence. He has read all of the signals and knows that you will not only agree to sex, but in some cases, you will push for it.

I hope what I just shared exposes guys who get what they want, but leave a trail of broken hearts behind them.

I hope this was helpful. I am not indentured by an bro-code. I realize that not many strait girls have access to a strait guy, especially a long-retired seductionist to pose their questions. Questions a gay male friend is unable to answer.

So, if you want to know about a guy and if he is a player or a legitimate candidate for a relationship, then know you now have a big resource right here.


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